humanity leaves a bad taste in my mouth

what is it about humanity that leaves a bad taste in my mouth? oh wait, that's the acrid coffee i'm drinking. or a distasteful mixture of the two. sometimes i like to communicate with others, and sometimes i find myself scrutinizing the conversations around me and cringing with agony at what i hear. this often happens in cafes in which i perpetually decide to drink coffee and putz around on my laptop. naturally, i have the most noble of intentions before entering -- advancing my creative works -- when i am sitting at home thinking about my future literary exploits in a romanticized and hopelessly idealistic way. but what is life in a world of such heartlessness and severely unfunny human hardship without a dash of idealism to help one choke down the day? if i were to dwell over all the current international turmoil and bloodshed every second of every day, i would most certainly be responsible for more of the same bloodshed. in other words, the stress would compel me to bash in my fellow man's head. and because i am a peaceful lifeform that feels nausea at the sight of blood, i'd rather go about my daily life in a sort of self-medicated ignorance. but even then, in my forced state of happy stupefaction, other nonviolent humans have the power to aggravate me and remind me that, as a fellow human, my mind has a tendency to lean towards the bash-in-head mode of thought.
but please, don't think i'd ever do it! i barely have the stomach to even think the whole thing through. the tendency is simply a vestige of our barbarous blood-thirsty past, riddled with -- in order of soil stratification -- the bodies of mostly incinerated and indistinguishable humans, humans with guns, humans with swords, humans with spears, humans with clubs, humans with stones, humans with bite and claw marks, hairy ape-men with bite and claw marks, and finally just apes that died of natural causes. but didn't tool use define the evolutionary step in the right direction that the greatest of the hairy apes made so long ago in our past as a recognizable species? but even if i had a stone to throw at these cafe-experience-ruiners, i might elect to employ my teeth and nails anyway, because the injuries inflicted would be all the more personal, would they not?